Writing your life story
You don't need to be a writer to tell your life story: start from specific memories, choose a common thread and work in short, regular sessions. A life story is built chapter by chapter, around the places, people and turning points that mattered. This guide offers a simple method to get started, and explains what support can bring to the process.
Why support matters at this moment
Telling your story brings back happy memories as well as harder times, and many people stop after a few pages for lack of method or distance. An outside perspective helps you find the thread, ask the right questions and keep going over time. It also helps you separate what you are writing for yourself from what you want to pass on to your family. Being supported doesn't mean someone writes in your place; it means being helped to find your own voice.
Signs that support would help you
- You have started writing down your memories several times, but never got past the first few pages.
- Your children or grandchildren ask about your younger years, and you would like to leave them something.
- You are reaching a milestone (retirement, a significant birthday, a move) and feel the need to take stock of your life.
- You have boxes of photos, letters and keepsakes, but no idea how to organise them.
- You are unsure what you can say, especially where other people close to you are involved.
Our advice, step by step
Start with a list, not at the beginning
Rather than writing "I was born on…", make a list of around twenty specific memories that come to mind: a smell, a house, a meeting, a decision. That list becomes your store of chapters, and the chronological order can come later.
Choose a common thread
A life story is easier to read when it follows a thread: a place, a trade, a relationship, a question that has stayed with you. Ask yourself what you would like readers to understand about you when they close the book, and keep that sentence in front of you as you write.
Write in short, regular sessions
Thirty minutes two or three times a week will take you further than a long writing weekend every six months. Set a time and a place, and end each session by noting the memory you will pick up next time.
Tell scenes rather than summaries
"My father was strict" gives information; a specific scene, with a place, a gesture and something that was said, helps the reader understand. For each chapter, look for one or two moments you could describe as if the reader were there.
Draw on your family and your archives
Photos, letters, diaries and family papers bring back details and help you check dates. Talking to a brother, a childhood friend or a former colleague adds other perspectives, and sometimes brings back memories you thought were lost.
Decide what you pass on
You don't have to say everything. Write freely at first, then reread and ask yourself who the text is for and how each passage might affect the people mentioned; some pages can stay just for you.
Give your story a finished form
A story takes on a different value once it is laid out, illustrated with photos and printed. Decide early on what you are aiming for, a family book, a collection of letters or a few chosen chapters, so that you know when you have finished.
Filomy by your side, at every moment that matters
The memory book lets you tell a life chapter by chapter, with several contributors, and then print it as a book.
Memory book →The online guest book gathers your family's memories, photos, videos and voice notes by link or QR code, with no app or account, adding other perspectives to your story.
Online guest book →The free time capsule delivers a message written today in 1, 5 or 10 years: a letter to a grandchild, or to yourself.
Time capsule →The Family wall is a photo and news wall shared all year round, simple for older relatives, with no account needed for family members (subscription): a place to share the old photos you rediscover while writing.
Family wall →
A tailored path
Olivier Paris is a professional biographer and coach, trained in narrative storytelling, therapeutic writing and coaching. For more than 5 years he has supported individuals and teams in the art of telling their own story, with an approach that combines expressive writing, structured storytelling and narrative therapy. He builds a personalised path with you, shaped around your story and what you wish to pass on, and runs "telling your own story" writing workshops in Marseille and the wider Provence-Alpes-Côte d'Azur region.
Build my path with Olivier →Filomy partner · coach and biographer · life-story writing workshops in Marseille and the PACA region
Frequently asked questions
Do I need to be good at writing to tell my life story?
No. A life story benefits from being written simply, in your own words and expressions. Sincerity and precise memories matter more than style, which can be polished when you reread.
How long does it take to write a memoir?
It depends on the scope of the project and the pace you choose. A few chapters about one period can be written in a few months of regular sessions; a story covering a whole life generally takes longer. Deciding on the finished form at the outset helps you make progress.
Is writing your life story a form of therapy?
No. Telling your story can help you step back and make sense of your path, but writing and coaching are no substitute for medical or psychological care. If painful memories resurface and weigh on you, please speak to a health professional.
Can a life story be written by several people?
Yes. Filomy's memory book welcomes several contributors, each telling their own chapters, and it can be printed.