Moving abroad
Moving abroad involves preparation on three fronts: the practical arrangements, your ties with the people who stay behind, and settling in once you arrive. Staying close from a distance relies mainly on simple, regular rituals agreed together before you go. This guide helps you prepare for each of these stages, right through to a possible return.
Why support matters at this moment
Living abroad brings excitement but also loss: a network, routines, a language, sometimes a career. The difficulties often surface after the first few months, once the novelty wears off and the distance begins to tell, or when you come home, which people tend to assume will be easy. Being supported helps you clarify what you are looking for, anticipate these phases and keep the thread of your story from one country to the next.
Signs that support would help you
- You have decided to go, but feel guilty about the people you are leaving behind, particularly ageing parents.
- Your partner or children are coming with you, and not everyone feels the same way about the move.
- After several months abroad, you feel isolated or out of step, and can't tell whether it will pass.
- Calls with your family are becoming less frequent and you feel you are missing the moments that matter.
- You are thinking of coming home and worry you won't find your place again.
Our advice, step by step
Be clear about what you are looking for
Before you leave, write down why you are going and what you hope to find: a job, an experience, a way of life, a language. Rereading those lines after six months helps you see how far you have come and make calmer decisions when doubts set in.
Take time to say goodbye
A rushed departure often leaves a sense of unfinished business, for you and for those close to you. Arrange a moment to bring together the people who matter, and give everyone the chance to send you a few words, even if they can't be there.
Agree on rituals before you go
A weekly call at a set time, photo updates every month, a shared family thread: decide on these together before you leave, bearing the time difference in mind. Small, regular catch-ups last better than long, improvised calls.
Think of relatives who are less at ease with technology
Grandparents and ageing parents are often the first to feel the distance. Choose a simple way of keeping in touch with them, one that needs no complicated app or password, and arrange for someone nearby to help if needed.
Keep track of important dates
Birthdays, family celebrations, a niece's or nephew's exams: from abroad, these dates are easily missed. Noting them down before you leave and preparing a message in advance lets you stay present, even from far away.
Give yourself time to settle in
The first months often swing between excitement and fatigue. Look for a few steady anchors, an activity, a place, a circle of acquaintances, and accept that feeling at home takes time.
Treat coming home as a new departure
Returning after several years is not simply going back: you have changed, and so have the people around you. Plan for this stage, rebuild your ties gradually and allow yourself the same time to adjust as when you first arrived abroad.
Filomy by your side, at every moment that matters
For your leaving do, the online guest book gathers messages, photos, videos and voice notes by link or QR code, with no app or account, including from those who can't attend. Contributions can be printed as cards or a book to take with you.
Online guest book →The Family wall is a photo and news wall shared all year round, simple for older relatives, with no account needed for family members (subscription): a shared thread for news from one country to another.
Family wall →Birthday reminders alert you automatically before important dates, free of charge, so the distance doesn't make you miss them.
Birthday reminders →The time capsule lets you write a message today that will be delivered in 1, 5 or 10 years: a letter to your family, or to yourself, to read when the time comes.
Time capsule →
A tailored path
Olivier Paris, coach and biographer, has spent more than 5 years helping individuals and teams in the art of telling their own story. Living abroad is a chapter in its own right: he builds a personalised path with you to prepare your departure, make sense of what you are experiencing there or approach your return, drawing on expressive writing and structured storytelling.
Build my path with Olivier →Filomy partner · coach and biographer · life-story writing workshops in Marseille and the PACA region
Frequently asked questions
How do you stay close to your family when you live abroad?
Simple, regular rituals last better than long, improvised calls: a weekly catch-up, photo updates, a thread shared by the whole family. Choose tools that everyone can use, including older relatives.
How do you say goodbye before moving abroad?
A leaving moment, however simple, helps everyone turn the page. Bring your family and friends together, let those who can't come leave you a message, and take a record of their words with you.
Why can coming home after living abroad be hard?
Because you return changed to a place that has also moved on. This mismatch is common; anticipating it, talking about it and giving yourself time all help you find your place again.
Do family members need an account for the Family wall?
No. The Family wall is a subscription, but family members view it without creating an account, and it stays simple for older relatives to use.